Life in Smallville

They say that everyone on Earth has a twin; someone who looks just like them without having any form of biological connection with them (besides coming from Noah's family). It has also been observed that most people have a celebrity look-a-like. Obviously as the years go by and more people get famous, there is a better chance that we will all remind someone of a celebrity.

I specifically remember the first time someone told me who I looked like. I was in high school as a sophomore; I wasn't exactly the most popular kid in school. Ok, that was a grievous understatement. I was picked on quite a bit by the popular upper-classman guys. Since I couldn't get any respect from them, I figured it would be more impossible to get any of the girls to give me the time of day. After school one day I was just packing up my books for my homework that night. I closed my locker and started walking towards the door; I kept my head down most of the time because of my 'social status' in the school. I quickly walked by a group of upperclassmen and I was almost out the door when I heard a teenage female voice from behind me: "Hey. Ryan." I experienced that feeling you get when you are pulled over by a cop when you haven't done anything wrong... that you know of. What is it this time? Did I button my shirt wrong? Did I not zip my zipper? I slowly turn around as one of the girls, Bonnie, is walking up to me. These guys put this girl up to something. "Has anyone ever told you you look like Kiefer Sutherland?" I don't remember if I said "No," but that would have been the correct answer. I don't know what I said, if I even said anything. I really didn't even know who Kiefer was, but I guessed it was a good thing. I would like to think I smiled, said "Thank you," and walked out the door. Regardless of what actually happened, that was the first of countless times that I have been asked that question. It's always great to hear ... I think. From my understanding, Kiefer is regarded as handsome, studly, gorgeous, etc. so that bodes well for me to look like him.

Last night was different though. After theMILL, I went out to Old Chicago with a couple friends. After snagging a booth upstairs and waiting for our waitress, I noticed a couple people at one of the tables close by look at me ... a lot. I couldn't figure out what was going on, but tried not to think about it too much. All the old worries came flooding back: Do I have something in my teeth? Do I have something hanging out my nose? Their group dissipated a bit as my friends and I ate our late dinner, so the fact that the other table was checking me out earlier left my mind. It wasn't until we were walking out that I heard it: "Hey, hey you" and someone tugging on my arm. "Has anyone ever told you ..." Yeah, I know buddy, Kiefer Sutherland. Thanks. I have heard it before. "... you look like Steven Baldwin." Thanks, I have---Wait! What?! Steven Baldwin? No, never. Once again I was dumbfounded. This time again not sure if it was a good thing or bad thing.

"Thanks." I said as I walked out the door.


Triplets? I think not.

Posted by supermn at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments

A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine - "la maison." "Pencil", however, is masculine - "le crayon."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (le computer"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Posted by supermn at 4:00 PM | Permalink | Comments