Life in Smallville

Well everyone, thank you for the awesome (read: 6, one of them being me) response in comments about what to blog about. Due to the popularity of how my brain works and the fact that put up the 4 most interesting things about my life in order, I will do as you wish (and as I think). Without further ado, may I present, The Girl:

I officially met The Girl almost 2 years ago, but our paths crossed many years before that in several interesting ways. Our first meeting wasn't one that sticks out in either of our memories because it was more of a gradual thing. Two years ago, as you may know if you have been reading this blog, I started getting involved with the youth group at my church as a leader for the high school students. At that time, and still, The Girl was employed by The Church to plan events for said youth group. Therefore, I can trace our official meeting to sometime around then, but the first memory that really sticks out is the first leaders retreat we were on together. The staff had planned a night with youth group leaders at a local hotel where we played games, at junk food and did some bonding with all the fellow leaders. One ice breaker/get-to-know-ya game that has become popular at our church activities is "Have you ever...?" (Basically, everyone sits in a chair in a circle with one person in the middle. The person in the middle says their name and something they HAVE done to the group; for example, I would say "Hi, I'm Ryan. Have you ever been snowboarding?" The people in the chairs that HAVE done that activity would have to get up from their chair and sit in a different chair (not next to them), and the person in the middle also finds a chair so there is one person standing after everyone found a seat. The person left standing has to state their name and something they have done. This game continues like that for as long as you want.)

Well, after we had played for awhile and many logical statements have been made, I thought it would be fun (being that its a church leadership retreat), to see who all has been to get a tattoo, since I had. So, I say "Hi, my name is Ryan [everyone responds with 'Hi Ryan']. Have you ever gotten a tattoo?" Much to my surprise, no one stands. Finally after some giggling and hesitation, one person stands and I take their seat. I think because of the question and because there was only one other person who had gotten a tattoo, this stood out in The Girl's mind as her first memory of me. Although, it was not necessarily a good one. The way The Girl tells it, is to add that she thought I was a 'thug' because I was dressed in baggy jeans, a football jersey, a ball cap, and had just stated I had a tattoo. (To my credit I dressed that way to be comfortable for the night, not trying to impress anyone ... ironic whose attention I caught though.)

So, after that first encounter, we were aware of each other, but still hadn't thought much of it. I continued leading my group of high school boys on Sunday nights and helping out Wednesday nights, seeing The Girl several times a week because of church functions. It wasn't until spring of the next year when our interaction together was going to change. There was plans for a high school mission trip to India, and when she asked friends and staff who she should invite to lead with her, several people mentioned me. That started the process of us leading a mission trip of high school students to India, which I documented quite a bit on this blog last year. We got to know each other through those interactions, yet still not pursuing a romantic relationship together, which wouldn't come until after we got back from the India mission trip. It was then that we dated for a short time, but because of several reasons we stopped dating. We did continue to have interactions with each other around the church and started spending more time with each other in the winter. In January, I asked her to be my girlfriend (I know, it sounds so 3rd grade-ish), and she happily said yes.

So, here we are 4 months later still dating and still learning. We are not leading a mission trip together this year, but I am leading one with other people, and she is planning the administrative portion of mine and 5 other mission trips this summer. One of the biggest things we have been learning lately is how to balance our two relationships. On one hand, we have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and on the other a mission leader/church staff relationship. Unfortunately, the former has gotten less time than the latter due to the upcoming mission trip. However, the real issue typically lies when one member of one relationship tries to interact with the other member of the other relationship. For example, just last night we were on a date and slipped into taking about mission stuff. The moment I realized I had asked her a 'work' question I took it back and changed the subject. Additionally, when we are working on Wednesday nights with the youth group I should not interact with her romantically because she is in a work mind set. There may come a day when we can function in these roles easier without being so strict, but for now it works.

Additionally, we continue to learn more about relationships, each other, and life through our interactions. With our full time jobs and volunteer time at the church, we both are busy 60+ hours a week and have to handle that and spontaneous issues with students or activities. So, our time has been composed of stealing a few minutes here and there when we have time, but we are usually so tired that is not 'quality time' - something we both so desperately craze though. And I admit I have not done my job well in planning 'us' time; I want to do better, but hope The Girl understands how busy life has been lately. The Girl certainly is a priority; I believe God has brought us together though it all and has a plan for us. I leave it at that for now; but now that I have blogged about The Girl, I feel I can add more blogs about her in the future, so keep tuned for that.

A little side note about the interestingness of our paths crossing years ago. A little back story: I had gone to Colorado State university in Fort Collins. It was there I picked up in a Bible study my first year ('99) in which an old acquaintance from high school was going. John and I touched base and because quick friends as did Kenneth, John's future roommate. We all stayed friends and attended the same church through my time in college. In the later years, John and Kenneth would through a cocktail party once a semester which was a good time to catch up and meet new people; I always went. A year after I graduated and moved away, John sent me an wedding invitation; he was marrying Molly. I drove back to Fort Collins to attend the wedding. Last year on The Girl's birthday we were in Denver and headed back to the Springs. The Girl mentioned wanting to stop at an old friend's house who she hadn't seen since college and when she got married. After talking, we realized these were mutual friends. We chatted about it and realized The Girl was at the wedding, and even at one of the parties I had been at years ago! The Girl grew up in Denver and me in Colorado Springs ... maybe our paths have crossed more times than that!

Posted by supermn on Wednesday, May 31, 2006 at 1:19 PM | Permalink