Pat, I'd like to buy a name
I was sitting around talking with my sister and mom, and we decided it would be a good idea for the state and nation to start charging people when they are naming their new born.
My sister Elizabeth works in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit in a hospital in Denver now, and she has worked in many NICU's around the United States. She said it never ceased to amaze her the names that parents would come up with to name their children. I am sure you all know people or have heard stories too, but here are a couple examples:
The government could charge families different amounts of money depending on the name of the child. The more outrageous the name, the more you charge. We understand that not everyone can pay for names, so the government will rotate a list of "free" names; somewhat normal names like John, Mary, Joseph, Michael, Sarah, Katie, etc. Now, this rotation would have to be carefully thought out; it couldn't be every year because then when the child is in school, half the class will have the same name as him/her. Maybe rotate it by day of week they are born, or week of the month. For example, every first week of the month, the names John, Mary, Matthew, and Emily will be free. The second week, David, Brittany, Christopher, and Rachel. And so on. This ensures that wealthy people like Michael Jackson who want to name their child Blanket will have to pay and exorbitant amount that can be used for a better purpose and said parent will think twice.
Since I don't think this will go into effect, I am working on names for my future children: iPod Schierholz, Who-Wants-To-Marry-Me Schierholz, and American Idol Schierholz.
My sister Elizabeth works in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit in a hospital in Denver now, and she has worked in many NICU's around the United States. She said it never ceased to amaze her the names that parents would come up with to name their children. I am sure you all know people or have heard stories too, but here are a couple examples:
An ESPN film crew is coming to this Panhandle town next month to interview the family of 2-year-old ESPN Malachi McCall for a feature on several children around the country named after the network.
- A child named Snow - OK, that may not sound too bad, but this is straight from my sister. A family came into her hospital and had a baby. Their last name was Christmas. So what's so bad about 'Snow Christmas' as a name? Well, for a middle name, they chose White; Snow White Christmas is the child's name.
The government could charge families different amounts of money depending on the name of the child. The more outrageous the name, the more you charge. We understand that not everyone can pay for names, so the government will rotate a list of "free" names; somewhat normal names like John, Mary, Joseph, Michael, Sarah, Katie, etc. Now, this rotation would have to be carefully thought out; it couldn't be every year because then when the child is in school, half the class will have the same name as him/her. Maybe rotate it by day of week they are born, or week of the month. For example, every first week of the month, the names John, Mary, Matthew, and Emily will be free. The second week, David, Brittany, Christopher, and Rachel. And so on. This ensures that wealthy people like Michael Jackson who want to name their child Blanket will have to pay and exorbitant amount that can be used for a better purpose and said parent will think twice.
Since I don't think this will go into effect, I am working on names for my future children: iPod Schierholz, Who-Wants-To-Marry-Me Schierholz, and American Idol Schierholz.
